#501 - #600

501. When all else fails, become Mazoku. (Akikaze)

502. If two people are fighting and you're not sure who the good guy/girl is, blast 'em both with a fireball and whoever's left standing is the good guy.(Silvercloud)

503. If a really tall blonde guy starts telling you about his serious feelings, chances are he doesn't know what he's doing.(Silvercloud)

504. What kind of tea is that anyway? Must be really great. (hehe) (Silvercloud)

505. Hair makes a great fishing line.(Silvercloud)

506. When fighting berserkers, be careful not to burn your fish to a crisp.(Silvercloud)

507. When you're down and alone, remember, you just can't ever get rid of Naga.(Silvercloud)

508. Praying at holy shrines will not make the ear-splitting laughter stop.(Silvercloud)

509. Even when unconscious, red-heads remember everything.(Silvercloud)

510. Don't give your plans away or reveal yourself unless you're sure your enemy already knows.(Silvercloud)

511. Don't let short, under-developed red-heads anywhere near your fridge!(Silvercloud)

512. Xellos just has waaaay too much fun in drag.:)(Silvercloud)

513. When in a crisis, remember, nothing can really go wrong if you have the right theme song.(Silvercloud)

514. If the world's about to be blown up and ripped to pieces, time for feast!(Silvercloud)

515. Evil Sorceresses named Kathy ALWAYS have another daughter stashed away somewhere...(Silvercloud)

516. The world truly is equal opportunity: Girls can wear pants, guys can wear dresses, and villains can dress in white. (Shell Presto)

517. You may not be able to tell the difference between a light spell and a fireball, but casting the Dragon Slave is exceptionally easier than that. (Shell Presto)

518. Most people will not help you kill them. Especially Dark Lords. (Shell Presto)

519. Never go around boasting that you cannot be harmed by any weapon save the Sword of Light. One of these days you may just tell the one guy who has it your weakness. (Shell Presto)

520. (Warm and Fuzzy alert!) Just because your body is made of stone doesn't mean your heart is the same. (Shell Presto)

521. Always sneak a peak when you hear someone says you need mouth to mouth resuscitation. Whoever said it might not be the one to give it. (Shell Presto)

522. Stereotypical characters can be the most original. (i.e. Hot-headed redheads, dumb blondes, justice-loving magical girls, tragic, moody anti-heroes) (Shell Presto)

523. If he or she looks cool, talks like a villain, blows up towns like a villain, steals like a villain, captures people like a villain, and threatens to beat the tar out of others like a villain, chances are he or she is a hero. (Shell Presto)

524. Likewise, if they act kindly, heal others, offer you services, advice, or help, and desire to be your friend, chances are they are a villain. (Shell Presto)

525. Don't play with your food: Just eat the chicken before he can kill you. (Shell Presto)

526. There's more than one reason to look up a girl's skirt. (Shell Presto)

527. Be careful: when someone claims they carry a mace, it might not be pepper spray. (Shell Presto)

528. The day Zangulus willingly takes off his hat is the day the world ends. (Shragos)

529. Little justice-obsessed princesses make great cannonballs. (BierMann)

530."It's a secret!" (David Krug) (Who KNOWS I've used that one about 6 times already...)

531. never underestimate the power of Lina or Gourry's stomachs. (z-chan)

532. Little old women who look like yoda and have poofy hair ROCK. (z-chan)

533.Whenever you're trying to be serious something silly will happen (fighting copy-rezo and zanafar). (z-chan)

534. You'll never remember the first time he actually proved he loved you. (z-chan)

535. The worst spell is the best spell. Don't ask why. Dumb luck ALWAYS seems to prevail...(Dark Cabbit Tomoe)

536. If an old guy named Rowdy tells you about some magical springs, have somebody check it out for you. If you insist on checking it our first, chances are, you'll end up as a gran'ma in less than two seconds. (Dark Cabbit Tomoe)

537. If you hear a person with an ear-piercing laugh coming at you from a distance, RUN FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE!!! (Dark Cabbit Tomoe)

538. For quick money, have somebody call a bunch of jellyfish or sea cucumbers and sell them. (Dark Cabbit Tomoe)

539. No matter how serious the situation is, there will ALWAYS be someone who comes in to do something funny to relief the tension. (Valgarv II)

540. Anyone can become a great shield when Lina's around. (Valgarv II)

541. Whining like a baby does not lower your status as a powerful sorceress. (Valgarv II)

542. Most problems can be solved, for everything else, there's Dragu Slave. (Valgarv II)

543. Even if your intro takes 10 minutes, the bad guys will always be there listening and waiting till you finish to attack. (Valgarv II)

544. The good guys will also wait till the bad guys finish introducing themselves before they attack... why? The world may never know. (Valgarv II)

545. When in trouble, offer a cup of tea. (Valgarv II)

546. Bandits, Lina's number 1 source for money. (Valgarv II)

547. Do, I repeat, Do Not EVER put Gourry on "Who wants to be a millionaire", he'll just confused the F^_^ outta Regis and win a million dollars =b. (Valgarv II)

548. Xellos would never be a good news reporter. (ex. What's the weather today, Xellos? Sore wa himitsu desu!) (Valgarv II)

549. You don't have to honor a contract with bad people."(From Nagha in one of the movies) (Margaret F.)

550. The guy always falls for the one in drag. (meese)

551. If they're wearing something you would never wear — get away! (Black leather S&M, orange latex trench coats, sausage curls, ect.) (meese)

552. If you think they're dead, they're not. (meese)

553. When hair or headbands get cut off, they always come back in a few moments. (meese)

554. All girls have 'problems'. Scratch that. GIRLS ARE JUST PLAIN NUTS! (meese)

555. Only bad guys are ever successfully cloned. (meese)

556. Demons are really smart — but they can never pull anything off. (meese)

557. It's only 'that time of the month' once every three years, and it only happens when you really need to fight back. (meese)

558. No one ever notices the well endowed, but if you've got a little bust, they all notice. (meese)

559. When you see ten Nagas running around laughing destroying a castle desperately looking for a so-called friend, then JUMP into the nearest river and hope that you will never have to hear those voices again. (RayeAngelWing)

560. Don't take advantage of a laughing frog. Especially if it's demonic. (RayeAngelWing)

561. When you are trying to look for a beast, make a shortcut going down to the bottom floor to save you time in getting there. (RayeAngelWing)

562. When you pass a red head, don't say, "Little girl, little breasts, scares the dragon from it's nest!" cuz the person might just Dragu Slave you. (RayeAngelWing)

563. When you see a person that is a perfect copy of you but has the opposite characteristics of you and becomes a total flake, bang your head on a stone pillar! (RayeAngelWing)

564. Always wear fireproof underwear. You never know when you'll have to rescue a guy in drag. (Amanda Peddy)

565. Never EVER let Lina repair or build part of your temple. (Shinigami, Xellos No Miko)

567. Don't joke with a girl about 'that time of the month' because she might grow fangs and beat you over the head with a bunny slipper or jellyfish. (Shinigami, Xellos No Miko)

568. No matter how badly dressed you are, you'll always find a princess willing to marry you. (Anh Minh)

569. The ultimate spell is Vis-Fan-Rank! It's fun to pound Mazoku senseless when they're expecting something like a Dragon Slave. (Threechop)

570: Think Lina's bad? Wait till you see her sister! (Dark Cabbit Tomoe)

571. Don't provoke hungry people...if you value your health. (Dark Cabbit Tomoe)

572. What do you get when you put a high-strung sorceress, a dumb swordsman, and an insane princess on the table? A food fight! FIREBALL! (Dark Cabbit Tomoe)

574. If a powerful monster has just been blasted with a powerful spell by a powerful sorceress, and the powerful sorceress's companions all act relieved and talk about how there's no WAY the powerful monster could've survived, that's your cue to run like hell in case the powerful monster decides to blast YOU along with everyone else when it reappears.(Anonymous)

575. Your favorite character probably isn't very important. In fact, they'll probably die in the next 4 minutes of animation. (Anonymous)

576. Even invented deities eventually find someone to believe in them. (Nira No Kamo)

577. Pansified geeks *always* have a girl or two looking out for them. (Nira No Kamo)

578. Make sure it's a single-edged sword before telling someone not to worry. (Nira No Kamo)

579. He who casts the Ra Tilt is doomed to failure. (Nira No Kamo)

580.*Don't* interrupt our marching. (Nira No Kamo)

581. Eternity is a helluva long time to be in time-out. (Nira No Kamo)

582. Mazoku should not be allowed in kitchens. (Nira No Kamo)

583. Filia is a whole lotta woman! (Nira No Kamo)

584. Unless your head is made of rock, avoid Ragun Mazegis. It *will* drive you insane (Valgaav and, crossing anime but not universes, Rail). (Nira No Kamo)

585. Even Mazoku Lords can wear schoolgirl fuku. (Nira No Kamo)

586. She brought you into this world and she can take you out of it! (Nira No Kamo)

587. If you're ever in need of an obsessed minion or two, find the closest war zone and wait. (Nira No Kamo)

588. When all else fails, clone. (Nira No Kamo)

589. The underwear of choice of swordsmen everywhere: dark blue speedos. (Nira No Kamo)

590. People (and Mazoku) are only polite when they have the power to spare. (Nira No Kamo)

591. No matter how much good you did for the world, you will invariably be remember for the one time you channeled a demon. (Nira No Kamo)

592. Justice will always prevail. Always. (Nira No Kamo)

593. That "troll" can inflict you with his daughter... be nice. (Nira No Kamo)

594. Oxymoronic attacks have the annoying tendency to hurt. A lot. (Nira No Kamo)

595. Even Mazoku squeal when you kick them hard enough. (Nira No Kamo)

596. Do not hire a lab assistant. If you absolutely must have one, hire someone whom there is absolutely no chance of you forming an emotional attachment to. Odds are, one of you is going to die, and clones and resurrections never work out. (SilvorMoon)

597. Do not order the town specialty. The reason it is special is probably not something good. (I'm thinking, Dragon Cuisine, Dradora Surprise, grooly fruits...) (SilvorMoon)

598. Guns... BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! ... are used like that. (SilvorMoon)

599. If you don't know how to levitate, try not to grab the breasts of the one who's carrying you. (Especially if she has red hair). (GIGA)

600. The next time one species of dragon tries to eliminate another, they should really try and make sure they get ALL of them. (GIGA)