10. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold.

9. The Ten Commandments are actually only five...double-spaced and written in a large font.

8. New edition every two years in order to limit reselling.

7. Forbidden fruit would've been eaten not because it was forbidden, but because it wasn't cafeteria food.

6. Paul's letter to the Romans becomes: Paul's e-mail to abuse@romans.gov.

5. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.

4. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.

3. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes.

2. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: The didn't want to ask directions and look like Freshmen.

1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it's due and then pulled an all-nighter.